I am sure you have heard of "The Fall." Not the cool season of colorful leaves, but THE Fall. The one where Adam and Eve had it made in the shade. Plenty to eat, warm weather, no biting insects to torment them. But then... Well, you know the rest. The curse: illness, sorrow, pain, weeds, wayward children, etc.
Religious thinkers have debated the human condition and human potential after the fall. Some say we're ok, you're ok. No harm, no foul. Innocent until proven guilty. The perfectibility of man and all that. We are innately good and maybe sometimes we could use a little boost up from God.
Others say we are born sinners. None of this help yourself up-by-the-bootstraps nonsense. No way you can make yourself a good person. Sure, you can practise ethics so that you're a better neighbor, but there is no way for you to build a ladder long enough for you to climb up to heaven.
Without getting into the many shades of theological differences on the point, I want to share a pivotal experience for me. With the coronavirus lockdown and the ensuing boredom of being in lockdown, I yielded to the temptation to watch a little television. Now I am going to cut to the chase. Long story short.
Thanks to seeing several episodes of "Judge Judy" I have become completely convinced that mankind's natural state is TOTAL DEPRAVITY. You are welcome.
Thursday, April 23, 2020
Saturday, February 22, 2020
Drive 'Em
Cattle drives were once a big thing in Texas. Tales of life and events on the Chisholm Trail and the Goodnight-Loving Trail can fill hours of enjoyable reading.
Poor land management and the drought of the Dust Bowl days caused an explosion in the population of rabbits on the plains.
The surplus of wild longhorn cattle in Texas birthed the cattle drive industry to move them from here to feed hungry humans back east.
The surplus of rabbits brought about the rabbit drives to rid the country of the hungry hares which were eating the farmers' crops.
Do you ever wonder how life would be different for us if Adam and Eve had had a snake drive on the first day in Eden?
It looks like we need some more drives. Feral hogs are overrunning Texas, and we can't even kill enough to keep the population in check. With some cooperation from landowners and some organizing and leadership, we could put together some hog drives.
One more drive is really needed. A pestilence is killing pets and even humans. A drive is needed. At the risk of angry people with torches and pitchforks storming my hermitage on Flat Top Mountain, I dare to suggest that we organize some pit bull drives to rid ourselves of this scourge.
A pox on the houses of those who defend pit bulls as "sweet, loyal, loving dogs." They are savage killers. Away with them from the earth!
Think about it.
Poor land management and the drought of the Dust Bowl days caused an explosion in the population of rabbits on the plains.
The surplus of wild longhorn cattle in Texas birthed the cattle drive industry to move them from here to feed hungry humans back east.
The surplus of rabbits brought about the rabbit drives to rid the country of the hungry hares which were eating the farmers' crops.
Do you ever wonder how life would be different for us if Adam and Eve had had a snake drive on the first day in Eden?
It looks like we need some more drives. Feral hogs are overrunning Texas, and we can't even kill enough to keep the population in check. With some cooperation from landowners and some organizing and leadership, we could put together some hog drives.
One more drive is really needed. A pestilence is killing pets and even humans. A drive is needed. At the risk of angry people with torches and pitchforks storming my hermitage on Flat Top Mountain, I dare to suggest that we organize some pit bull drives to rid ourselves of this scourge.
A pox on the houses of those who defend pit bulls as "sweet, loyal, loving dogs." They are savage killers. Away with them from the earth!
Think about it.
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
Barefoot
I went to my favorite shoe store on the summit of Flat Top Mountain for some new athletic shoes. It was getting close to the Fourth of July, so I asked ‘Ol Bootscoot Murphy, the store’s owner, for some of the latest things from Nike, the Air Max 1 with Betsy Ross designed Original Thirteen States Flag. Scooter said he was sorry, but Nike had recalled all of them because Colin Kaepernick objected to the shoe.
“What’s to object?” I asked. “And who is Colin Kaepernick?”
“Well,” Boots opined, “As far as I can tell, he is just some spoiled has-been football player who craves attention and gets it by being obnoxious and unpatriotic. He claims the flag on the shoe carries slavery connotations.”
“Shoot!” I ejaculated. “Give me something else then.”
“As you can see, I don’t have much left in stock. I’m having to close my business.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Everything I tried to sell was met with objections,” Boots complained. “First I stocked up on some Birkenstock sandals, but Sarge Spivey – you remember him, don’t you, the Vietnam veteran?—well he said he was offended because they carried connotations for him of those draft-dodging, weed-smoking hippies who spit on him at the airport when he came home. Can’t say I really blame him.
“Then I tried Army boots. Figured I’d get some trade from the folks at Dyess maybe, and for sure from the flag-waving patriotic types who live around these parts. Wouldn’t you know it? Some old burned out hippie from that commune in Rayner came in, Birkenstocks and all, and brought half a dozen protesters with him to object to this symbol of military imperialism.
“The Amish farm shoes were also rejected by young Rousseau, the libertarian freethinker from over at Pastura. He objected to the connotations of a well-ordered, regimented religious lifestyle.
“I tried Turkish and Chinese boots, but all it got me was jeers and catcalls from good old boys who wanted nothing to do with ‘furriners’.
“Finally,” Bootscoot concluded, “I brought in patriotic looking, geographically appropriate, culturally native footwear for hard-working, upright men of honor, to wit, Texas cowboys. But alas, they too had their detractors. The welfare crowd didn’t like the idea of working. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals eschewed leather. The little Gore boy added that raising cows causes climate change because of their ‘infatuations’.
“Well, I tell you what, Monk. I’m offended,” said Bootscoot, as he locked the door for the last time.
“What’s to object?” I asked. “And who is Colin Kaepernick?”
“Well,” Boots opined, “As far as I can tell, he is just some spoiled has-been football player who craves attention and gets it by being obnoxious and unpatriotic. He claims the flag on the shoe carries slavery connotations.”
“Shoot!” I ejaculated. “Give me something else then.”
“As you can see, I don’t have much left in stock. I’m having to close my business.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Everything I tried to sell was met with objections,” Boots complained. “First I stocked up on some Birkenstock sandals, but Sarge Spivey – you remember him, don’t you, the Vietnam veteran?—well he said he was offended because they carried connotations for him of those draft-dodging, weed-smoking hippies who spit on him at the airport when he came home. Can’t say I really blame him.
“Then I tried Army boots. Figured I’d get some trade from the folks at Dyess maybe, and for sure from the flag-waving patriotic types who live around these parts. Wouldn’t you know it? Some old burned out hippie from that commune in Rayner came in, Birkenstocks and all, and brought half a dozen protesters with him to object to this symbol of military imperialism.
“The Amish farm shoes were also rejected by young Rousseau, the libertarian freethinker from over at Pastura. He objected to the connotations of a well-ordered, regimented religious lifestyle.
“I tried Turkish and Chinese boots, but all it got me was jeers and catcalls from good old boys who wanted nothing to do with ‘furriners’.
“Finally,” Bootscoot concluded, “I brought in patriotic looking, geographically appropriate, culturally native footwear for hard-working, upright men of honor, to wit, Texas cowboys. But alas, they too had their detractors. The welfare crowd didn’t like the idea of working. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals eschewed leather. The little Gore boy added that raising cows causes climate change because of their ‘infatuations’.
“Well, I tell you what, Monk. I’m offended,” said Bootscoot, as he locked the door for the last time.
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